Skip to main content

Satire: publishers raise print prices to reflect library value

New York - Today RandomHouse announced that it will be raising the price on individual purchases of print books by an average of 430%. "Let's face it," said company spokesman Sam Snively, "if you just buy a book, and only one person reads it, our authors just aren't getting the same kind of exposure that they'd get at, say, a library. Libraries display the book, write reviews for the local paper, host authors, and even do book clubs. Consumers don't do any of that."

Industry observer Josh Golden agreed. "Absolutely. This price more accurately reflects the true value of the work, as established by American libraries' enthusiastic promotion of both literacy and publisher's offerings. Frankly, I'm surprised the industry didn't address this problem years ago."

In a related news item, Simon & Schuster revealed their price hikes for bookstores. "Sure, bookstores buy books from us, but surprisingly often, don't even sell them!" said S&S's Commercial Distribution manager, Myrna Blackthorn. "You wouldn't believe how common it is to have them ship back the books and demand a refund. Libraries don't do that!" When asked how much the price would increase, Blackthorn said, "Like, twice the price? That sounds about right."

These announcements seem to indicate a growing Big Six publisher consensus that other distribution channels should behave more like the lucrative and business-friendly library market. At this writing, no representatives of the American Booksellers Association could be reached for comment.

Comments

Unknown said…
And let me tell just how dumb those libraries are! They buy the same books in hard back, paperback, audio book, e-book and large print - and in multiple copies of each format and are willing to pay as much as consumers!
Aspen Walker said…
:) Hee hee! Thanks for writing this!
Anonymous said…
I've always had faith the publishers would realize that cooperation with libraries equals good business. Glad to see things working out! ;-)
Jamie said…
Good point, Charlie. Libraries buy multiple copies and multiple formats of a single title. What do call that? Maybe you say, "Dumb." But I say, LOYALTY. COMMITMENT. I think that's why the publishers love us.

Popular posts from this blog

Uncle Bobby's Wedding

Recently, a library patron challenged (urged a reconsideration of the ownership or placement of) a book called "Uncle Bobby's Wedding." Honestly, I hadn't even heard of it until that complaint. But I did read the book, and responded to the patron, who challenged the item through email and requested that I respond online (not via snail-mail) about her concerns. I suspect the book will get a lot of challenges in 2008-2009. So I offer my response, purging the patron's name, for other librarians. Uncle Bobby's wedding June 27, 2008 Dear Ms. Patron: Thank you for working with my assistant to allow me to fit your concerns about “Uncle Bobby's Wedding,” by Sarah S. Brannen, into our “reconsideration” process. I have been assured that you have received and viewed our relevant policies: the Library Bill of Rights, the Freedom to Read, Free Access to Libraries for Minors, the Freedom to View, and our Reconsideration Policy. The intent of providing all tha

Installing Linux on a 2011 Macbook Pro

I had two MacBook Pros, both 13" models from late 2011. One had 4 gigs of RAM, and the other 8. Both of them were intolerably slow. In the first case, I wound up installing CleanMyMac , which did arcane things to various files, and put up alerts to warn me about disappearing memory. But it made the machine useable again, albeit not exactly speedy. I changed some habits: Safari as browser rather than Firefox or Chrome. I tried to keep tabs down to four or five. The second Mac had bigger problems. Its charger was shot, but even with that replaced, the battery tapped out at 75%. More importantly, the whole disk had been wiped, which meant that it wouldn't boot. Recently, I had downloaded a couple of Linux distributions ("distros") on USB drives. Elementary OS 5.1 (Hera) was reputed to be a lightweight, beautiful distro that shared some aesthetics with the Mac OS. So I thought I'd give it a try. Ahead of time, I tried to read up on how difficult it might be to

The enemies of literature

Every year, apologists for the restriction of reading stumble over themselves to "mock" Banned Books Week. Walther (Oct 1, 2023's " The Enemies of Literature ") upholds the grand tradition. Complaints about banning, the argument goes, are simply false. Walther writes, "In zero cases since the advent of Banned Books Week has a local or state ordinance been passed in this country that forbids the sale or general possession of any of the books in question." Yet Texas HB 900 was passed on June 13 of this year. It requires book vendors to assign ratings to books based only on the presence of depictions or references to sex. If a book is "sexually explicit" and has no direct connection to required curriculum, it must be pulled from the school. (One wonders what happens to the Bible, and its story of Lot's daughters, first offered by their father for gang rape, and whom he later sleeps with.) In Arkansas, legislation stated that school and pu